So Long
by nagagoo
Summary: Alex is living with wolf after jack died. His account on how she died. PTSD!Alex. Parental!Wolf


So Long

Alex woke with a scream. He was sweaty from his nightmare. Sweat dripped from his forehead and small sobs racked his small frame. He heard footsteps in the hallway. His door cracked open and the light was flicked on to reveal wolf who walked over to Alex's bed and sat down. Wolf enveloped Alex in a hug and his shirt became wet with Alex's tears. He started to rub up and down Alex's back.

Alex's nightmares of losing jack haunted him every night. He remembers every detail.

Flashback

_They had jack he had to get her back!_

"_Don't move Alex! Or we might just have to blow up your sweet little house keeper. The assassin caressed jacks cheek as tears fell. He had a knife pressed to her neck. Alex was despite._

"_I will do anything! Please! She didn't do anything! It was all me! You want me dam nit!" he screamed. The assassin with a smile drew back from jack knife in his hand and stepped towards Alex, who closed his eyes. He felt his arms being tugged backward and the knife being pulled up to his throat. He could hear jacks muffled cries. Due to the towel stuffed in her mouth. He whispered._

"_Goodbye jack" and waited for the sharp pain he knew he would feel. Only it didn't come. He opened his eyes just in time to see an explosion right in front of him knocking him and his assailant backward._

**So the house is wired from floor to attic  
you can't get in or out**

_His automatic response was to run forward. He called jacks name into the smoking remains of the room._

**And your first response is automatic**

_He cries out her name only to hear nothing. Tears run down his face as he digs at the burning debris not caring about the damage he inflicts upon himself  
_

**But no one hears you shout**

He knew she was gone. No one would s_urvive an explosion like that. Still he hoped.  
_

**Hoping against a hope that's rail thin**

End flash back

He remembered waiting in the MI6 office. His emotions numbed. He reacted to nothing around him

**All that you know for now, you'll be waiting  
So long  
**

He felt like he was one of the dead then. There was nothing left of the old Alex. The old Alex that laughed with tom and enjoyed dinner with jack was gone. The old Alex that always promised he would come back from his new missions was gone

**So you walk the path through the sea of sleepers  
and keep your eyes ahead**

It felt like happiness would never exist again. It felt like the world itself had died. But still he watched as children pulled their parents to playgrounds happily. Happiness was finder's keepers.

**Cause you know that light is finders keepers**

He found life with wolf was okay. The man cared. MI6 could no longer threaten him. Wolf said Alex's only job now was to heal and be the kid he never got to be.

**But what you found instead**

is no one was made for this, to be lonely

He was more like a child now then he could ever remember. He needed to be held when he had nightmares. He had to be encouraged to eat. He had stuffed animals. The experience seemed to make him crawl into his mind where being a kid was safe.**  
**

**Keep it against your chest, this is only  
So long  
**

Life definitely would never be the same as it was before. He was like a broken doll.

**No one can put you back how you were then  
**

But what did anyone expect. Life isn't easy especially for Alex

**Chemicals must react; it's certain  
So long**

Wolf tucked Alex back in once he calmed down and sat on Alex's bad stroking his hair.

A/N, so I know you guys probably don't want to hear from me but I'm going to talk anyway. So basically this is a songfic from Jenny Owen Young's song So Long. She isn't very famous. This song is about the Jonestown massacre. If you don't know what that is it was a mass suicide 909 people. It was also a cult. The song is about a boy who didn't want to commit suicide when everyone else did. It's written from his point of view. Regardless of what the song is actually about I thought the situation fit Alex's situation. I'm also thinking of making a sequel about life with wolf but idk what song to do yet. If you want to know more about the Jonestown Massacre message me.


End file.
